Recovery - Getting your life back!

Balance!

2011-03-07T10:09:00.000-08:00

“The best and safest thing is to keep a balance in your life,
acknowledge the great powers around us and in us. If you can do that, and live that way, you are really a wise man.” – Euripides, ancient Greek playwright

Life....

2011-01-28T06:49:00.000-08:00

Don’t ever forget it – life is precious. It can be taken in an instant. Don’t waste a moment of it. The Dalai Lama says it best:

“Every day, think as you wake up, today I am fortunate to be alive, I have a precious human life, I am not going to waste it. I am going to use all my energies to develop myself, to expand my heart out to others; to achieve enlightenment for the benefit of all beings. I am going to have kind thoughts towards others, I am not going to get angry or think badly about others. I am going to benefit others as much as I can.” – The Dalai Lama

How much time do we lose each day to anger, resentments, grudges, and hostility? How much time do we spend dreaming up things and planning versus actually doing? Life is about action. Think about the steps. They aren’t esoteric principles or mystical meanderings – they are actions you take. You take your inventory. You make direct amends. You keep track daily of your attitudes, behaviors, and actions and make amends if you harm anyone. You reach out to help others. Action after action.

We don’t get anywhere just thinking about how we should live. We get there by living it.

10 Ways To Reduce Stress and Improve Your Recovery...

2011-01-27T07:06:00.000-08:00

INTRO

I know when I was using, and in early sobriety, peace was not the word I would use to describe my life. Chaos would be pretty accurate. Misery would be accurate as well. Feeling at peace is a wonderful goal for anyone in sobriety – because it is achievable and it can add a lot of years to your life. Why? Because stress, chaos, anger, resentment, and misery all take their toll, not just psychologically but physically as well.

More and more evidence indicates that stress and the hormones released due to it take years off our lives.
It’s pretty difficult to rid your life of all stress, but it certainly is possible to get rid of manufactured stress. By manufactured stress I mean the tensions that come from making poor choices.

Your job is more stressful if you are always late to work – because you are dodging criticism and wondering, as you trudge along on the freeway, late once again, if this might be the last straw.

Your home life is more stressful if you don’t spend quality time with your kids and they start to get out of control.

Your finances can create stress if you just have to have that slightly larger TV that you can’t really afford so you add another thousand dollars to an already hefty debt you’re carrying.

There are all sorts of ways our daily choices contribute to whether or not life feels like a pleasant and peaceful experience or if it feels like a giant wrecking ball is pulled back in position, ready to be dropped on us should one more thing go wrong.

Certainly there are things that just happen – but if I really think about it – most of my stress is manufactured. Either I’m overreacting or worrying too much, or I’m making choices that add to my stress.

Here are 10 ways to reduce stress over time:

Exercise – this doesn’t mean you have to run a marathon because a pleasant walk through the neighborhood after dinner can often be enough to kick in those stress-defeating brain chemicals

Eat better – junk food does not put our bodies in the best shape possible to cope with unavoidable stresses. You are just more capable of responding calmly and cooly when you are jacked up on sugar and excessive amounts of caffeine

Have a conversation – every day you should have a pleasant conversation about your day with SOMEone. It can be a friendly call to an old friend or a few minutes of quiet time with your spouse – but it’s a great way to diffuse things as they happen

Don’t spend money you don’t have – if you can’t afford the fancier car, don’t buy it. If you can’t afford the bigger TV screen, downsize your choice. Money does not buy happiness, especially if you don’t have the money and your credit card company jacks your interest rate to 29%!

Sleep – might seem silly to put this here because it’s so obvious you need sleep, but most Americans don’t get enough sleep. Think about it – if you aren’t sleeping at least 7 hours, you are taking years off your life. Your body deals better with stress when it has sufficient rest

Keep Connected – especially important in recovery – keep connected with others in recovery. Go to a meeting when you are feeling stressed rather than stew in your own thoughts

Simplify your life – are you trying to do too much? Are you continually competing with others? Maybe it’s time to look at ways to simplify your life

Write Things Down – putting goals, finances, and the like in writing makes them more manageable. You can find order in the chaos sometimes just by sitting down and figuring out the steps you need to take to extricate yourself from manufactured stress. A few years ago I put together a financial goal document and followed it (almost) faithfully. It gave me a clear picture of my way to more security and although it seemed like it would take forever, I did eventually reach those goals in a few years.

Be Kind to Yourself and Others – have you gotten into the habit of being perpetually hostile or angry? It’s easy to get into the rut of being a grouch. It doesn’t make life easier. I’ve noticed on days I really embrace the joy of life and smile at people – and sincerely, enthusiastically greet them – everyone seems to lighten up- life adjusts to your mood – you cast a pall on everyone when you’re in a snit, and you brighten up the room when you’re grateful and joyful

Find Quiet Time – maybe you like to read or just sit and meditate. Just find out what works for you and spend some time reflecting, learning something new, or just rejuvenating yourself. TV is not quiet time. It’s fine, but it isn’t a substitute for spending time with your own thoughts and feelings so you can get a clue about how things are REALLY going for you

Getting Through The Day In Early Recovery...

2011-01-27T06:58:00.000-08:00

Introduction

The first few weeks of recovery may seem fraught with anxiety, a few sleepless nights, some depression, and more than a little uncertainty. Recovering addicts have to learn how to pace themselves, begin to put the coping skills and strategies they learned during treatment into practice, and get into the swing of a new – and clean – lifestyle. All that sounds great and makes sense, you might say – on paper. But if you’re new to recovery, you are probably wondering just how you can possibly get through today, let alone tomorrow.

There are strategies that you can employ to help you get through the early days of recovery.
Some are fairly basic, while others involve a little more time and effort. Think of the following as suggestions that you can choose to use – if they work for you. When you find something that really helps you, by all means continue to do it. After all, the important point is that you make progress during this time of transition from active treatment to your new life of sobriety in recovery. Every day you’re clean is a big step toward achieving healthy balance in your life.

Start With a Good Breakfast

You’ve most likely heard the advice to eat a good breakfast each morning without giving much thought to why. There’s actually a lot of medical knowledge behind the recommendation, which turns out to be quite sound. We’re talking about fueling your body with nutritious food to jumpstart your day. You don’t need to eat a 3- to 5-course breakfast in order to eat right. Just be sure that you eat a good, balanced meal – and do it every day.

No more grabbing a quick coffee and Danish. Forget about the super-sized bagel and cream cheese. Add whole grain or whole wheat bread (lightly toasted, maybe with a dollop of sugar-free jam or Smart Balance margarine) to a couple of scrambled eggs, an egg-white omelet with red, green, yellow, or orange peppers, onions, and maybe a link or two of light turkey sausage. Drink fresh orange juice or vegetable juice (or juice your own – even better). Take a multi-vitamin or supplements as recommended by your physician and your treating therapists. A half-grapefruit is another excellent choice (along with that one piece of wheat toast) for breakfast. Okay, have your coffee, if you must, but use fat-free milk (no cream or half and half), and no real sugar.
There are other variations on a healthy breakfast that you can use, including whole grain pancakes and light syrup, a fresh fruit bowl and fat-free yogurt, granola or whole wheat cereal with a sliced banana and maybe a bit of fresh fruit (strawberries, blueberries, raspberries, etc.). For even more variety, buy a good cookbook and start experimenting.

The idea is to keep breakfast on your daily schedule, and keep the menu varied and interesting. In no time, you’ll start looking forward to breakfast. This is a great way to start your day in recovery on a positive note. When you’re satisfied from eating a good meal first thing in the morning, you have more energy and enthusiasm to tackle the challenges and opportunities each day in early recovery will bring your way.

Add in Daily Exercise

Now that you’ve fortified yourself with breakfast, it’s time to do something about getting your cardiovascular and other systems working in your body. That means doing a little exercise. We’re not talking about running a marathon or doing a strenuous 3-hour workout at some high-priced gym, just getting things moving in a nice, easy pace. You can build up your strength, alter and lengthen your routine, as you go along.

For starters, always begin any exercise session – even walking – with some stretches. This helps limber up your body and work out any kinks that have tightened up your muscles while you were sleeping (or from the previous day’s exercise, stresses or worries). There are many easy-to-follow exercise books that show simple stretches, and you can also find them on the Internet, and in the week-end magazine sections of the newspaper. Stretching doesn’t take that long and it prepares your body to work those muscles a bit more. Think of stretching as the warm-up before you head out. If you plan on going for a 20- to 30-minute walk in the neighborhood or a park or nature trail, for example, and you don’t do your warm-up stretches, you’re asking for plenty of sore muscles in the next day or two.

Speaking of that daily walk, it can be a hike up a mountain trail, traipsing along the sandy beach, or whatever. It is always nice to add different scenery to your walk, so having a few trails or locations to go to will really help keep your interest. Again, the idea is to do this regularly, say 3 to 5 days a week.

As you get stronger and have more endurance (heart, lungs, etc.), you can add in more strenuous forms of exercise. This may include mountain biking, cycling, swimming, or competitive sport games such as basketball, volleyball, tennis, ice hockey, or outdoor recreational activities such as cross-country or downhill skiing.

What’s so great about exercise and early recovery? When you exercise, your body produces the natural feel-good chemicals called endorphins. The release of endorphins is like a flood of warmth. You feel good, and the reward pathways recognize this feeling. The best news is that this is a natural process – and non-addictive, unlike some of the other substances you used to use to feel good. So, add exercise to your daily routine, and keep it going.

Make a Schedule – and Stick to It

Rather than leave things to chance – and the likelihood of idle time when your thoughts could turn to cravings and urges – it’s a good idea to make out a daily schedule. This is especially important in early recovery, when you’re still fresh out of treatment and not quite ready for everything that might come your way. Having a schedule that you can look at, cross things off when they’re done, and a roadmap for what to do next in the day can really benefit. Before you reject this out of hand as too regimental or restrictive, think about what a schedule helps you accomplish. First, having a schedule, or daily agenda, can help keep you on-track with projects and tasks that you need to attend to. In business, projects don’t get done if someone doesn’t have a to-do list, or a project leader keeps after those in the task group to stay on schedule. It’s a lot like that, except we’re applying this to recovery.

When you were in treatment, you had a schedule. Whether you were in residential or outpatient treatment, there were times scheduled for counseling – individual or group – times for lectures and educational readings, free time, homework, and the like. So, you’re familiar with knowing what you need to do when. Now that you’re in recovery, while you don’t have the benefit of someone to remind you it’s time for group, or time to see your therapist, you can employ scheduling to your advantage.
Break up your day into one-hour time blocks. Put down the time you get up, when you eat breakfast, do exercise, bathe and groom, go to work, do errands, watch TV, go out to a movie, or pursue other intellectual (going to school, taking a class), recreational or entertainment/leisure activities. Also put down the time you go to sleep. Try to keep to a regular wake-up/retire to bed schedule. This helps get your body rhythms in sync. What happens if you toss and turn, have a restless or fitful sleep, or are plagued by nightmares, anxiety attacks, cravings or urges that get you up? If you can’t sleep, don’t toss around in the bed. Get up and go into another room and do something to occupy your mind until you are again sleepy. You can read or watch TV, but don’t eat anything, as this will prevent you from being able to go to sleep. When you feel sleepy, return to bed and go to sleep.

If you are suffering a panic or anxiety attack, or feel that your urges and cravings are getting out of hand, call your 12-step sponsor or physician, whomever you can reach. If your physician has prescribed antidepressants or anti-anxiety medication, or medication to help curb cravings and urges, take it as appropriate. During your next session or meeting with him or your therapist (if you have continuing care or aftercare as part of your overall treatment program), discuss your sleeplessness and emotional turmoil, cravings and urges. You will then be able to work out some different coping mechanisms that may help you better weather these discomforting times.

One thing about schedules is that you can always change them. As you get more accustomed to doing things every day – eating meals at regular times, rising and going to bed at the same time every day, regular exercise – you’ll be able to block out those hour-long chunks without any difficulty. It’s not the regular routine that will get to you. It’s those unscheduled empty hours that will work at your mind and allow temptation to creep in. That’s what you will try to prevent by making out your daily schedule.

Of course, your day (and evening) isn’t all about work, eating, exercise and sleeping. You need to factor in play time. It’s important that you have time to do what makes you happy, gives you a lift, things that you enjoy.

As you progress further in your recovery, after 6 months or so, your daily routine will become more or less automatic. Try not to jam up your schedule with too many tasks, or projects that may demand too much of you in terms of time or effort. If you bite off more than you can reasonably chew, the tendency will be to back off or abandon it. That will result in disappointment and a feeling of failure. Remember, you don’t have to be superman or superwoman. You just need to go at your own pace. If things get too hectic or threaten to overwhelm you, slow it down. Pace yourself. You’re not in a race. You’re in recovery, and that takes time.

Make Time to Dream

Many addicts in early recovery think that life ahead is just a series of boring, tedious days filled with avoiding people, places and things they used to find pleasurable. Instead of looking forward, they spend their time looking backward. This is a quick and nearly surefire route to relapse.

Naturally, you can’t stop your mind from thinking about partying with old drinking buddies, or how much fun you remember having when you were anticipating the big jackpot at the casino, or using and drinking simultaneously – or whatever your drug or addictive behavior of choice was. It isn’t the thinking that’s the problem. It’s how you take responsibility and what you do about it that makes all the difference.

Assuming that you have accumulated a toolkit of coping skills and strategies to use, make sure to use them. These will help you to greatly reduce the outside temptations to “just have one” or “be with the gang,” or try to resume your previous life as you once knew it.

One way to minimize the backward looks is to keep your focus firmly on the future. Think about what you may have always wanted to do but, for whatever reason, never got around to, felt you didn’t deserve it, didn’t have the time or energy to pursue. In other words, take out your list of dreams, dust it off, and give it a good look-see. Don’t say you never had a dream. Everybody has a dream. For some, the dream looked like an accumulation of wealth, or a perfect family, or adventure travel – whatever. For others, a long-put-off dream may have included getting a degree, or finishing one, having children, participating in a marathon, learning a new language.

Write down what strikes you now that you’d like to do – all things considered – in one year’s time, 5 to 10 years ahead. Next, write down what steps you need to take to help make the particular dream a reality. This is a double-duty process. It involves making a list of goals, and it also involves dreaming of the achievements you’d like to accomplish.

In any case, it involves forward thinking. It is progress, and it will help ease you through some days that may be frustrating, difficult, or agonizingly slow. On the days when you are making great strides, checking off things on your daily schedule or getting to the next level on your list of short-term or long-term goals, your dreams can begin to morph and change as you find new opportunities on your horizon.

Be Optimistic – But Grounded in Reality

Use your time in early recovery wisely. Adopt a mindset that is both optimistic about your future and grounded in the reality that you are in early recovery. What this means is that you have every expectation that you will do well, since you have the necessary tools at your disposal, as well as the realization that not every day will be a stellar one. There will be good days and days that are pretty frightful. You may question if you have the resolve, or the determination, to keep going. You do. And you have help available if you feel yourself about to slip.

A slip is what Alcoholics Anonymous calls when someone falls into relapse. A slip only means that you may not have paid enough attention to your coping skills training, or you needed to practice it more. You may have an addiction and a genetic makeup that makes the cravings more difficult to overcome. For this, certain medication may be helpful. The point of taking medication to handle cravings and urges is to get you to the point where you can handle your stresses and cravings without resorting to using. You may need additional therapy or counseling. You definitely should continue to participate in regular 12-step group meetings – especially for the first year of your recovery.

Why is it important to go to 12-step meetings? You are in the company of others who have undergone similar experiences with addiction. If you are a woman, you should attend a meeting comprised of only women, if that’s available. Female addicts have different perspectives and needs than their male counterparts. It’s also less threatening for many women to discuss their fears, anxieties, problems or stresses in the company of other women than in mixed groups.

Give it Time

Finally, getting through the day in early recovery is all about time – adequate time. You didn’t become an addict overnight. It likely took years to get to the point where you either recognized that you were in trouble and sought help, or circumstances forced you into treatment (legal, family, vocational pressures). You can’t expect to miraculously be “over it.” In fact, you already know that you are an addict and will be an addict from now on. But addiction doesn’t define you. It is something you deal with, but it doesn’t need to control you. You are the architect of your own destiny. Granted, you need help, support and encouragement from others, and may need it for quite some time, depending on your type of addition, how long you were addicted, physical, environmental, and other factors.

Recovering addicts who’ve been clean and sober for several years acknowledge that they felt stronger over time, stronger than they ever felt possible. They’ll also be the first to tell you that cravings and urges can reappear even years after they’ve been clean and sober. But, with the help and support of their fellow 12-step group members, family and friends, they are better able to withstand such pressures. They will, in fact, be among your most stalwart and reliable allies in your own recovery. And every 12-step group has them.

One day, in the not-too-distant future, you may be able to provide encouragement and support for someone else who is new to recovery – just as you are new to it now. You will be able to impart to them the tips and techniques that helped you get through the day in early recovery and beyond. That’s what successful recovery is: seeing past today and looking forward to a healthy tomorrow – and sharing your accumulated wisdom with others.

Be You!

2011-01-26T14:10:00.001-08:00

“Trying to be perfect may be inevitable for people who are smart and ambitious and interested in the world and its good opinion…What is really hard, and really amazing, is giving up on being perfect and beginning the work of becoming yourself.” – Anna Quindlen, from her book, Being Perfect

Quote...

2011-01-25T05:00:00.000-08:00

“The greatest discovery of my generation is that a human being can alter his life by altering his attitudes.” – William James, American psychologist and philosopher

Welcome....

2011-01-25T04:48:00.000-08:00

Today marks the first day of the Crossroads Treatment Center's blog! Our goal is to maintain a blog that provides both useful information for patients entering or maintaining recovery and to provide a forum for the discussion of successful recovery strategies!